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Holiday Eating Tips

 

1 Xmas Party 41. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat.. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday 1 Xmas Party  5party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of  Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “WOO HOO, what a ride!”

Have a great holiday season!!

Featured Recipe       Orange Amaretto Chicken

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For special occasions. Which can be every day cause you’re worth it!

This is heavenly! This dish is candle light worthy!

This is what you will need for 3 people:

3 boneless skinless chicken breast

½ cup flour

1 orange: sliced in to thin rounds

aaaaaaaa1 tablespoon zest

1 cup of orange juice

½ cup Amaretto

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

1 garlic clove smashed

2 shallots sliced

Salt and pepper

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Here is what you do:

Zest the orange. Cut the orange into slices. Smash the garlic – remove the peel. Slice the shallots.

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Pat the chicken dry with a paper towel. Using a meat mallet or the bottom of a flat skillet, pound the chicken to a thickness of about half an inch.

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Place the flour with salt and pepper to taste mixed in on a piece of wax paper and lightly coat the chicken with the flour mixture.

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Oooopps! HOW did I forget the olive oil in the Ingredient Picture above?. I don’t know – but I did. And no, (Hic) I was not (Hic) sampling the Amaretto before I added to the (Hic) skillet. How do these crazy rumors (Hic) get started anyway!!!!

Heat 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat; add the smashed garlic in a pan over medium high heat.

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Add the garlic clove and sauté until fragrant and the garlic begins to brown lightly.

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Add the shallots and stir about 1 minute or until they get soft. Remove the garlic.

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Add the chicken breasts (Add more olive oil if needed.) and sauté the chicken until golden brown on both sides and cooked through, about 3-5 minutes on each side . Since the chicken has been pounded thin they do not need to be cooked very long. Do not over cook as the chicken will get dry and tasteless.

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When the chicken is browned remove the chicken from the pan and tent to keep warm.

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Lower the heat to medium.

Add the orange juice and Amaretto to the skillet, scraping the browned bits off the bottom as you stir.

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Then increase the heat just a bit and cook until it begins to thicken, stirring often, about 10-15 minutes.

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Put the chicken back into the skillet and turn several times in the sauce to coat the chicken.

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Place the chicken on a serving plate. Sprinkle the zest evenly over all chicken.

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Garnish with the orange slices, one or two depending on size of chicken.

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Spoon a little bit more sauce over the chicken.

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Serve with saffron rice and a salad.

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Bon appétit!!!

Cost

3 boneless skinless chicken breast              $5.64

½ cup flour                                              $0.20

1 orange: qqsliced in to thin rounds            $0.67

qqqqqqqqqq1 tablespoon zest                      ——-

1 cup of orange juice                                  $0.30

½ cup amaretto                                         $2.36

1-2 tablespoons olive oil                             $0.52

1 garlic clove smashed                               $0.05

2 shallots sliced                                         $0.45

Salt and pepper

Total cost = $10.19
Cost per person = $3.40

Quote of the Day

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect ‘Hungry’… 

Gary Larson, The Far Side, humorist

ASIDE: I Miss Gary Lawson and The Far Side – Does anyone else feel the same?

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